Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
