That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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