Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
