Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All the doctor said was why
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
