also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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