in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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