O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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