Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
