I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My cat gives me a boner
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
