White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
