It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
