fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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