Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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