But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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