dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
