I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
