my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
