It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize