i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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