I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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