you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
