I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
