saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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