I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
