What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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