I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drunk is a universal language darling
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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