My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
