okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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