Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
