put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
