September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
