You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
