So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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