Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
