oh god the rape fog is back!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
