Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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