Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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