I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
