Already got asked if we're dating
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
