oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
handjob tips. give me some.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
