on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
