i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
