She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's always time for handjobs
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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