i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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