He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize