I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
