seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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