I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
