oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
