what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
