You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
