dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
