Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
