Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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