The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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