these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
