So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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