I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
