my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
