she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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