meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
