good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
