When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize