this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize