waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My life is pants optional.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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