So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
