Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
