your parents love me but you hate me
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
