They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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