Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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