At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
