yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
