I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
