Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize