I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My feet surprised me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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